(no subject)

[camper4lyfe]

Something's just not right. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be this upset. I shouldn't be sick to my stomach. I shouldn't be losing my apetite. I just shouldn't be like this. Why do I feel like shit? Why does it bother me so much that I can't find out how she's doing? Why is it so wrong to ask someone who knows her how she's doing? That's all I wan to know. I want to know how her panic attacks have been, I want to know so much, but I can't. Christ, just because I broke up with her doesn't mean I don't care anymore. I'm not the heartless bastard she wants me to be. I just don't work that way. I just wish that she'd see that. I wish she'd stop running my name through the mud. I wish she's stop and see things the way other people do. That there are two sides to the story.
She never once tried to help me. It was always about her. I've had my share of problems, and yeah, she helped sometimes, but other times just blew me off. What does she ask in return? Everything.
It's funny, I realized the other day that she was a bit of a hypocrit. She always complained that I never thanked her for the things she did (which I did), and yet, when she got home from work, I had the dishes washed (or was in the process of doing them), and supper was either ready, or being started. Yet, I never heard a thank you. I don't get it. Why is it ALL my fault?
It's not my fault she took away my self esteem. Ever notice that you lose self esteem when you're always the one who has to start things in bed? Ever notice that you lose self esteem when someone doesn't pay attention to your needs? Ever noticed that it really sucks?

Comments

[moon-dancer.livejournal.com]

YOu have what i like to call the spring bug. It gets to your emotions, your moods and your sleep habits. Don't worry too much it will go away in a month or so. I get it almost every spring!

Just try to cheer up and get active:)

Re:

[camper4lyfe.livejournal.com]

Then I must get it all the time...either that or PMS.

PMS....cute

[moon-dancer.livejournal.com]

Cheer up my friend lifes not so bad.
YOu just have to get active, like gym or something, it really helps with the sleepe problem(although oyu do get really sore!)
Go out dancing or something too, but no drinking cause alchol is a depressant, and you don't want that.
:)

Re: PMS....cute

[moon-dancer.livejournal.com]

Go see her or something, maybe if she gets actions to back up that you say you still care she might get over it and realise you still are a good person. It will take time (2 years from own experince) but she'll realise she can still have you as a friend, and really that is almost teh same as a partner:)

Re: PMS....cute

[skyes.livejournal.com]

as much as i agree with the activity...and as much as i agree with the fact that SAD fades when spring hit, i ust say that 'going to see her' would NOT the be the wisest course of action when it comes to this particular couple. He and i went through a similar patch after our break up, and seeing him made me that much angrier. In this case, contact will not alleviate the symtoms of healing form a break up but only couse them to grow worse.

he is a GREAT person, but, she won't ever see that because of the way she 'is'.

To Camper:

i know how your feeling M'dear. i know it hurts, i know the pain. You'll get through it, just with time...

Re: PMS....cute

[camper4lyfe.livejournal.com]

I agree with Skye.

Also, moon dancer, I already do the gym thing...doesn't really help.