(no subject)

This is the wrost I've felt since the funeral. Went out last night for the first time without her. Something just wasn't right. Something was missing. A LOT was missing. She was missing. I'm sure she was there...but not in a tangable form. Played darts...wore the beads..got a really weird feeling. Got butterflies and almost felt nervous. Was just a very strange sensation. Got done playing darts and just held the beads. Had more moments. Talked to Tori. Ower her a lot for that. Even though she's pissed at me for what I've been doing, she's still willing to sit and talk to me. Absolutly wonderful friend. I couldn't ask for anything more from her.